S P R I N G D R I Z Z L E

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Originally uploaded by springdrizzle

It’s a little late, but here are the pictures for George’s birthday. I’ve decided to post the pictures at www.flickr.com/photos/springdrizzle due to convenience and videos at xanga.com/springdrizzle because I can’t put the videos in this site.

I went to Ingrid Michaelson’s concert on Friday that was held at Knitting Factory and I realized something about myself.

1. I’m too oblivious - I almost stole Paul Simon’s (yes, as in Simon and Garfunkel) beer without knowing it was him. I was just playing cute. While I was away from my seat at the bar, Simon ordered the same beer by the time I got back. His was full, mine wasn’t so I joked about how I wanted the full beer. The guys I met there were cracking up because they realized I didn’t realize it was Paul Simon and his wife, Edie Brickell! They told me afterwards and I was stunned and felt quite idiotic. I would’ve been more charming if I knew it was them!
2. I’m too old/mature for concerts - Ingrid Michaelson was sensational and she is going to be big. (I sought her out after hearing her song on Grey’s Anatomy music guide on the season finale.) With that said, I waited way too long for her to sing though. The concert started at 8 pm but she didn’t sing until 11 pm. She had several opening bands and they were all good. I liked Bess Rogers the best (her live singing sounds better than on her Myspace.) In any case my legs hurt, my back hurt, I was hungry, and tired. This was NOT a big place since the “unknowns” perform there. I was also surrounded by bunch of college kiddies and decided that listening to music through iTune/Mp3 serves me FINE! I do have to add that the groups that performed seemed to really enjoy each other, support each other, and love what they are doing. I have more thoughts on this subject which I am not going write here.

I am fuming and disturbed by the irresponsibilty of the media.

The picture of Seung-Hui Cho is everywhere, not the one that was shown initially but the freeze frame of the video that he mailed to NBC. I believe that the media should not have air it. I also believe it should be available but it’s disturbing that I have to keep turning AWAY from these images since it’s MY CHOICE. But seriously, it’s EVERYWHERE and I mind as well close my eyes until a month later since it’s my choice to look at it or not. Jeez, is it really my choice? (Oh yeah, by the way, they released it because it’s news and people of America deserve to know — have we forgotten the profit they make out of it?)

I am shocked by the speed of the media ”special” report that aired within one or two days. How could they? Reporting the grievance and the memorial - yes…but come on people, seriously, give them SPACE. It is out of control.  

Why does media like to unamericanize Asian Americans? This tragedy of VT by Seung-Hui Cho breaks my heart although I have no connection with them because how can you not? Really! I came to America when I was 8. I didn’t get my citizenship until I was 24 but never have I thought myself not be American. I call myself Korean AMERICAN for a reason. When my parents registered me to school for the first time, the administrator gave me an AMERICAN name. In addition, some people are complaining that we need to integrate and adapt to American culture and here is a person who has but yet because he murdered 32 innocent people due to his madness is no longer American?

Now there is a whole debate about the order of his name: instead of Seung-Hui Cho which is how all names are PLACED according to America, why was it changed to Cho Seung-Hui the way Korea places people’s name? I thought we lived in America, following American grammar. It feels as if the message since he is a mass murderer, let’s make sure he’s not connected to being an American but just Korean.

When the news first broke and they were able to identify Seung Cho, what was the rationale in saying that he’s South Korean with a green card but lived in America since he was 8? What’s the connection? What’s the point? Where’s the focus. At least a few changes are occurring but it’s a shame.

I’m really, come on!

I send my heart and prayer to the victims, victims’ family, VT and its community, and to Cho’s family. May God’s grace be revealed and His love wrap around their heart.

It seems I am always waiting for something or another.

I wait for the end of the day.

I wait for the weekend.

I wait for the spring.

I wait for vacation breaks.

I wait for the summer and all this waiting and wanting seem to waste my life away if I am not careful.

I have chosen to read Song of Songs these days and I feel at lost with the poetic tone and patterns somehow and I can’t seem to comprehend it fully. Certain chapters capture me and others lose me but still I feel comfortable reading it. It’s been awhile since I picked up a bible to read during my private time and I have chosen Song of Songs.

It would have been pretty predictable if I were a protagonist in a novel. In any case, it started with the thought of waiting. There are certain things in my life, I know for some strange assurance, I will get what I wish for. However, I have wised me up and voiced in my scattered mind that my wish will be granted but I will have to wait. Then my thoughts diverged into “battle has already been won” or better yet, reminds me of the maidens waiting for their husband knowing he will come back but not knowing just when.

Waiting. The assurance of knowing that He will be back forces you to stop and think and accept that I still have to go through the process. I still have to wait. It may be sooner or later that I can predict but one thing for sure, He will come back.

I’m tired…

All I see before my eyes are reflection of blankness

A replica, an imitator of a blackhole

It ambushed me and imprisoned me

It resides now in my mind and slowly

paving its path to my heart

I am a victim of my own mind

prisoner of my own heart
repressor of my own ability

I am my worse enemy

I am my own uninspiration